I learned about God and Jesus from early age since I was born and raised within the catholic religion teachings and traditions. As a teenager I was actively participating in the youth groups; around the age of 15 I separated myself from church because one of our priests began a relationship with one of the female adult volunteers—who was indeed married. At that moment I couldn’t get over the hypocrisy of the leaders of our church and was appalled by the example they were setting. It took me 8 years to go back to church; I became a catechist—Sunday school teacher—and I was happy to work with the kids. Yet, as an adult I was struggling with what the Bible said against all the traditions of the Catholic Church. After 3 years of active teaching I separated from church again. I was going on and off for over 8 years. Around 2004 I began getting sick; I was always physically and emotionally drained; I began to loose interest in my career, my family and most of all myself. I did not know that I was down the road of depression. Within two years I changed jobs, I was unemployed twice, and I was admitted in a psychiatric ward twice. I was taking up to 5 different psychotropic medications. My life was a blur; I was totally in the dark. What I knew of religion to that point was not enough to fill my heart. I felt alone and so hopeless; I couldn’t answer my child when he asked me “mom why are you crying?” or “mom why are you so tired? Why are you always sleeping?” I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions and being overly medicated didn’t help much. I was talking to God, yet, I was angry and complaining all the time asking why. “Why me?” “Why are you letting me become such a failure?” “Why are You not helping me God?” I turned to the Bible, and to my best friend who was always with me through this whole process. With her help I was able to share the Scriptures and I came to understand that God has not abandoned me, that indeed, it was me the one who had abandoned God. I began a learning process; my eyes were opened. I weaned myself off the medications and turned to the love I have for my son to begin the healing. But most of all I immerse myself in reading the Bible and I set myself to never leave God again. I was one of those who thought I couldn’t be anything else than catholic; I never used the words “I am a Christian”…. Until I was able to experienced God and Jesus in a different way.

I mentioned my best friend before; well my best friend is Jennifer J. Lee, who has been a member of Metro for a while now. Jennifer always invited me to come to Metro as we shared our desire to learn how to live a life as God wants us to. I remember receiving by mail weekly the service flier with notes of the sermon. Although I wasn’t visiting Jennifer was making sure I had part of what you shared every week. I wanted so very much to come and visit, but I was terrified; I was still dealing with my depression and did not want to leave the silent solitude of my home. But inside me the desire of being part of a group, my desire of congregating to praise the Lord became stronger than any fear. I also believe now that God was preparing and was waiting for the right time. The right time came the weekend of the retreat; how I got to be part of it can be a testimony in itself; lets just say that God provided. I was still hesitant thinking if I was going to be accepted; if I was going to fit in. The retreat was the first time in over a year that I met with a group of people…. It took only a couple of hours for me to feel at home. Everyone was so incredibly welcomed, and by the end of Friday evening I felt really good. I listened throughout the weekend…. God was at work, and for the first time in my life when the question was asked for one to accept Christ as our savior, for one to become a Christian my heart jumped, I raised my hand in open acceptance. Jennifer was by my side and I had tears in my eyes. But this time I wasn’t crying because I felt hopeless, this time if my son would’ve asked me “mom why are you crying?” I would’ve answered that I was crying because I was moved by the amazing love God has for us that he gave us His only son Christ to save us, to help us connect with Him. And now I have hope of a better life with God by my side, but mostly with me by God’s side; accepting His love and guidance; accepting and doing my best to follow His commands. So many wonderful things have happened since. I have only but a couple of months coming to Metro and I have decided to get baptized. This show how powerful God is. This is for the Glory of God. This tells how wonderful you all are as a community that you made me feel so much a part of it that I want to openly, with all of you as witnesses, accept Jesus and be baptized as we must do.

Like I said before, in reading the Bible I came back to God and I want to share parts of Psalm 116; verses 1-9 and 12-14:

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “O Lord, save me!” The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simple-hearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living..…. How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.

Finally, I want to say thank you Jenny for always being there for me and for always having an open invitation for me to come to Metro. Thank you Metro, Pastor Ahn for your support and counsel and all of you who made me feel so good during the retreat, and who continue to welcome me every Sunday, and who have also welcomed my son who proudly says “I am part of MetroKids!” And most important thank you God for all your love, for all your blessings.