Pastor Kevin, you just celebrated your 42nd anniversary. What do you find difficult in your marriage?
Personally I find communication to be an ongoing challenge. I often find that we operate in an assumption mode. Given all the time we have been together I still fall into the trap of assuming that Linda should know certain things about me (read my mind!?) and would then act accordingly. When I fail to communicate well with her, I am setting us up for failure.
A related issue is when I am unwilling or too lazy to voice my opinion. Sometimes it is just easier to say, “whatever you want will be fine” even when I really do have an opinion. I sometimes think that I am avoiding conflict by deferring but in reality I am creating any unhealthy dynamic. Again, healthy communication is key.
And finally, when I conclude things about Linda based on past experience and fail to realize that she is not the same person today as she was yesterday, I again set us up for problems. Both of us are in a constant process of transformation. If we stagnate we are in trouble. Therefore, good communication habits will keep us up to date with each other and allow us to be the best possible spouse in the midst of all the dynamics of doing life together.
Communication is one of the topics that we address, and allow you to practice at the Metro Marriage Retreats. The next one is coming up September 16-18. Save the date if you are interested.
(Linda answered the same question on her blog - you can read what she said HERE.)